Mental & physical health
Relationships & Marriage
Parenting
The Story Behind The Podcast Name
Sitting in the kitchen.
Tik tok.
I turn my head and see these gorgeous mountains covered in luscious green.
The light touches the leaves casting shadows that make me feel like I am home.
Tik tok.
Trying to find a beginning to this story while feeling hurried by the clock.
Are you comfortably sitting somewhere you can spend the next 10 minutes with an open heart?
5 years ago when I started my business online as a single mom of 2 I was preparing for over a year to leave Germany - after living there for over 20 years - to become a digital nomad.
I believed it would be the freedom I was looking for, the one I felt in my Asian home village, climbing the majestic Tienshan mountains every day as a little girl, feeling the buzzing power of the rocks under my bare feet, trees, and wind moving me in the right direction.
I was willing to give up everything to feel that powerful again!
I wanted my kids to know what real freedom feels like!
Maybe I was subconsciously looking to find another paradise.
I didn´t know what to expect.
I didn´t even know if it would work out and if I was strong enough.
I knew I was a survivor, I trusted myself.
No excuses, no going back.
It was a HUGE risk.
Because of so many unknown factors, I needed something to hold onto
that wasn´t material because I had to leave it all behind.
I needed something that I couldn´t lose.
Ever again.
Going through the process of selling all my stuff reminded me
of the greatest loss I went through as a kid:
Losing my home village - my paradise - and moving to Germany.
Back then, my sister and I cried through the whole 8-hour flight
because we understood we would never come back.
I felt like my entire world crumbled under my feet and that
I would never be able to breathe!
This new home revealed itself as one of the deadliest places in hell.
I refused to live.
I refused to breathe.
I refused to have friends.
I refused to grow.
It took me 20 years to realize that it was a gift to have lived
in both paradise and hell because it allowed me to see the truth.
The full truth.
And nothing and no one could manipulate me.
I became the rock of courage that I once walked upon.
Nothing was left of me except the 3 bags and the tears of my father
that I regret to have caused because I and my kids were now leaving.
I decided to hold on to a NAME.
My real first name ELLA means "light-bringer", "fairy", "complete", and "the one from God".
My parents are not religious at all - my dad being an Astrophysicist is far from believing in God.
All my life I have been wondering WHY I got this name especially because
I felt ugly, more than incomplete, dark, and depressed when I came to Germany.
I knew I had to leave the old me behind to be reborn into a new type of leader
- not only for my kids but for the world.
I wanted a name that I could marry.
That I could trust.
Forever.
Till death do us part.
I chose a name that I would always carry with me and whenever someone
utters my name I would be reminded of why I am here.
In honor of my mother language Russian and my lost home,
I decided my last name to be RAY.
It means PARADISE.
The word "paradise" has its earliest roots in the ancient Persian language,
where it was known as "pairidaēza."
It was referred to as an enclosed royal garden or park.
Adopted by the Greek language and turned into "paradeisos,"
it was later assimilated by the Latin language and it was used in the Vulgate
translation of the Bible to refer to the Garden of Eden in the Book of Genesis.
During my travels, I realized that there is only one type of paradise.
It´s not the one that I was trying to find to make up for the one I lost.
It is the one WITHIN ME.
I started building that garden in me so that my kids had a paradise to live in
- no matter where we go.
And so my name became my mission:
To shine the light so that you can find the way to paradise - the one within YOU.
Paradise is the garden in which health, freedom, peace, and love grow.
It sounds simple.
Yet so hard to achieve in the face of so much evil.
I will need a village to make that vision come true.
So my podcast has taken a turn
- not only with the name change to THE ELLA RAY SHOW:
I am interviewing visionary female leaders in an effort to spread wisdom
and guidance to help you build that garden and paradise within you.
I deeply appreciate every single one of you who supported me thus far,
encouraged me to keep going, and provided feedback
and guidance so I could evolve.
To healing & love,
*eR
Sitting in the kitchen.
Tik tok.
I turn my head and see these gorgeous mountains
covered in luscious green.
The light touches the leaves casting shadows that
make me feel like I am home.
Tik tok.
Trying to find a beginning to this story while feeling
hurried by the clock.
Are you comfortably sitting somewhere you can
spend the next 10 minutes with an open heart?
5 years ago when I started my business online as
a single mom of 2 I was preparing for over a year
to leave Germany - after living there for over 20
years - to become a digital nomad.
I believed it would be the freedom I was looking
for, the one I felt in my Asian home village, climbing
the majestic Tienshan mountains every day as a
little girl, feeling the buzzing power of the rocks
under my bare feet, trees, and wind moving me in
the right direction.
I was willing to give up everything to feel that
powerful again!
I wanted my kids to know what real freedom
feels like!
Maybe I was subconsciously looking to find
another paradise.
I didn´t know what to expect.
I didn´t even know if it would work out and if I was
strong enough.
I knew I was a survivor, I trusted myself.
No excuses, no going back.
It was a HUGE risk.
Because of so many unknown factors, I needed
something to hold onto
that wasn´t material because I had to leave it
all behind.
I needed something that I couldn´t lose.
Ever again.
Going through the process of selling all my
stuff reminded me of the greatest loss I went
through as a kid:
Losing my home village - my paradise
- and moving to Germany.
Back then, my sister and I cried through the
whole 8-hour flight because we understood
we would never come back.
I felt like my entire world crumbled under my
feet and that I would never be able to breathe!
This new home revealed itself as one of the
deadliest places in hell.
I refused to live.
I refused to breathe.
I refused to have friends.
I refused to grow.
It took me 20 years to realize that it was a
gift to have lived in both paradise and hell
because it allowed me to see the truth.
The full truth.
And nothing and no one could manipulate me.
I became the rock of courage that I once
walked upon.
Nothing was left of me except the 3 bags and
the tears of my father that I regret to have caused
because I and my kids were now leaving.
I decided to hold on to a NAME.
My real first name ELLA means "light-bringer",
"fairy", "complete", and "the one from God".
My parents are not religious at all - my dad being
an Astrophysicist is far from believing in God.
All my life I have been wondering WHY I got this
name especially because I felt ugly, more than
incomplete, dark, and depressed when I came
to Germany.
I knew I had to leave the old me behind to be
reborn into a new type of leader - not only for
my kids but for the world.
I wanted a name that I could marry.
That I could trust.
Forever.
Till death do us part.
I chose a name that I would always carry with
me and whenever someone utters my name I
would be reminded of why I am here.
In honor of my mother language Russian and
my lost home, I decided my last name to be RAY.
It means PARADISE.
The word "paradise" has its earliest roots in the
ancient Persian language, where it was known
as "pairidaēza."
It was referred to as an enclosed royal garden
or park.
Adopted by the Greek language and turned into
"paradeisos," it was later assimilated by the Latin
language and it was used in the Vulgate
translation of the Bible to refer to the Garden
of Eden in the Book of Genesis.
During my travels, I realized that there is only one
type of paradise.
It´s not the one that I was trying to find to make
up for the one I lost.
It is the one WITHIN ME.
I started building that garden in me so that my
kids had a paradise to live in - no matter where
we go.
And so my name became my mission:
To shine the light so that you can find the way
to paradise - the one within YOU.
Paradise is the garden in which health, freedom,
peace, and love grow.
It sounds simple.
Yet so hard to achieve in the face of so much evil.
I will need a village to make that vision come true.
So my podcast has taken a turn - not only
with the name change to THE ELLA RAY SHOW:
I am interviewing visionary female leaders in an
effort to spread wisdom and guidance to help
you build that garden and paradise within you.
I deeply appreciate every single one of you
who supported me thus far, encouraged me to
keep going, and provided feedback and
guidance so I could evolve.
To healing & love,
*eR
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